Starbucks Women

7 Mar, 2009 | Written by Hate Master

We’ve all been to Starbucks, we’ve all seen them. You know who I’m talking about. Those women. Those Starbucks women that sit around at four in the afternoon, enjoying their $7 coffee, wearing $200 sunglasses on their foreheads, with their Louis Vuitton bags hanging off their chairs and the keys to their Lexus SUVs on the table in front of them, talking about their good-for-nothing husbands. Don’t lie to me, you know exactly what I’m talking about. I was at Starbucks the other day trying to study and each and every time I go there, there is these types of women all around. These aren’t no desperate housewives, they’re just stuck-up bleach-blonde bitches that haven’t felt the touch of a man in a long time and because their houses are spotless thanks to their Latino housekeepers, they’ve got nothing better to do than just sit around Starbucks and talk shit about their uninteresting lives. Wow, how much I hate these type of women. They’ve never worked a day in their lives, they married some CEO, and hoping their lives would be all cream and sugar, they’re jealous of their hardworking counterparts who took the hardway out and made it in life with their own sweat and tears.

Back to the Story

So I’m sitting there trying to read about Nietzsche and Dostoevsky when these two women in their mid-30s stroll in. They look the way I’ve explained above and one starts talking about how cute their waiter was from the restaurant they just came out of. To not hear this rubbish, I put my headphones on and tried to focus on the wonderful world of existentialism and nihilism. But no, these Starbucks women just kept going and going and their annoying voices seeped into my ears passed Young Jeezy’s lyrics drilling the importance of money into my head. Well, what they discussed next was how one of the bitch’s husband bought her a Lexus jeep when she asked for the Porsche jeep. By this time I felt like slapping them both and burning their faces with coffee, but instead I just kept listening and feeding my anger. Then their husbands came in and they looked like the biggest chumps on earth. So in all truth, I don’t really blame these bitches for wanting to true different assortments of men, if you know what I mean. But then again, if he’s paying the bills, you better keep your eyes on your plate and be thankful that you can afford a $7 coffee.

Now… I really don’t care if you disagree, but I’d still like to hear some comments. So comment. And comment good. You hear?!

9 Responses so far | Have Your Say!

Keith | March 8th, 2009 at 1:34 am

OMG you really hit the nail on the head with this one.

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Fran | March 8th, 2009 at 1:36 am

That IS a big rock on her finger in that photograph.
7 dollar coffee, doesn’t starbucks understand that it’s a recession!!!!

[Reply]
Hate Master Reply:
March 8th, 2009 at 1:42 am
It’s a recession, everybody broke.

Well, apparently except these rich wives of the CEOs.

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Marlee | March 8th, 2009 at 1:38 am

I like how you narrowed your hate down to starbucks women and not all women. But i don’t completely agree with you that these women are only found at starbucks. These desperate housewives are everywhere you go. I guess it’s just you were listening in on their convos because you were close to them that yuo realize they were pathetic. But they are all around.

[Reply]
Hate Master Reply:
March 8th, 2009 at 1:43 am
Yeah it’s true they’re everywhere, but I particularly see very many of them stuck in Starbucks, bitching and moaning about their ‘pitiful’ lifestyle when they have a better life than 99% of the pop.

[Reply]
kisha | March 8th, 2009 at 11:47 am

Yeah I know these women. They don’t work, don’t take care of their kids and then complain about what is wrong with their lives. You know I would like to get the wrong car just once in my life. PLease! Be grateful for what you have and keep your complainin to yourselves!

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GregR | March 8th, 2009 at 4:18 pm

I agree, these stuck up b**hs with their cup-a-crap-chino lifestyles. Their whole life was to get out of that liberal arts college to go husband gold digging on wall street, get hitched to some 100 hour week merchant wanker then bang the pool boy for attention. That sux..

GregR’s last blog post..Kiwi Phil’s Amazing Race Diary: Sibera

[Reply]
Hate Master Reply:
March 8th, 2009 at 4:28 pm
I love when I see people hating as passionately as I do. Bob Marley’s peace and love formula wasn’t working so it’s time to bring forth a united hate for all that sucks so much in this world. Keep it hatin’ GregR!

[Reply]
Miguel Wickert | March 9th, 2009 at 6:06 pm

Hey bro,

First of all, you going to wrong spot man. I’m like you- I don’t enjoy being around folks that expect the world to bow down and worship the ground they walk on. Therefore, you gotta hit up a real coffee spot. Starbucks is a joke. Is their coffee being sold at $7 a pop now? I hope you’re not spending that kind of money crappy, old, stale coffee that’s been sitting in a warehouse for who knows how long.

When you find a coffeehouse that roasts its own beans- you’ve found yourself a place to study- where you have a different audience (most of the time) that respects and appreciates smooth, fresh coffee- that leaves nice taste in your month (can’t say the same for Starbucks). I feel ya man, what you’ve described is disgusting.

Give it a shot, hit up a real coffeehouse and let me know what you find. Later.

-Mig

Miguel Wickert’s last blog post..Manage Your Life Using Web Notes

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